She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
last night I used snow as a chaser
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
