we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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