Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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