Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
