on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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