Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
