I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
