No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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