You kept calling me your small dog last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
