So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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