some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
