I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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