First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We need a shit load of segways right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize