I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
