I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
