I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
