I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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