he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
