Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
