dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
