she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
