Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
