Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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