Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
