Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize