I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
