You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
