so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
