How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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