I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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