Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
