I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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