clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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