I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
