what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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