Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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