I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
