Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
