Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit

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(219): View more from Indiana

shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.

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(708): View more from Illinois

This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(416): View more from Toronto

I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"

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