she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.