No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went