Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
high people should be assigned attendants
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
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The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.