I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
