Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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