I wish I could teleport
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Randomize
