I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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