so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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