there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
