Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
