I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
