if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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