i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
