All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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