My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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