I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
