She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
