Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
