We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
