Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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