I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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