Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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