I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
