did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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