ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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