apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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