Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
