some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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