i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize