What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize